Like a Virgin

"I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
I didnt know how lost I was
until I found you..."
Madonna

Doesnt that song take you back?? I love 80's music. Well it seems rather appropriate to me while typing this post. The wilderness is my life as I knew it for the past year... I cant believe its been a year since my last post! I feel like its my first time again ;)
I have been a bad bloggy friend, I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?? SO much has happened. So many changes. I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I am settled, (um if you can call it that lol), and can rejoin the blogging society. I missed you guys!!!
Yes, there will be updates on the family. I promise to slather my horrific happenings on the crisp white squares that are my blog posts. Pictures will adorn my pages for all to see and I think I just might have time to come by and say hello to all my friends ;)

Until next time my pretties... stay tuned!!

Today He Moves Out - A New Beginning

Its been a rough past couple of months for me. I dont want to start off with the "pity me" vibe, thats not what I'm looking for. I want to fill everyone in on whats going on and why I havnt been blogging. I made a promise to myself...this will not be a continual rant of mine, forever complaining about him.
2 months ago my husband came home, from a lengthy visit to IL where his family lives, and said our marriage is not working and where do we stand. I could see where he was coming from because our marriage has been a rough and bumpy road since he came back. (2 years ago he'd had an on ship affair and moved in with her when they came back from deployment, I was pregnant with E) Went thru counseling, trying to communicate but it boils down to his anger stood in the way of helping either of us heal. He is a very angry man and takes it out on everyone. Also, we were just not in love anymore. Neither of us. We basically decided mutually to raise our kids together and get along the best possible. Little did I know it went deeper with him. He'd decided to move on way before talking to me.
I found out by complete accident that he was in communication with an old high school girlfriend. Now, normally there wouldnt be an issue with this. According to his cell phone bill he'd been talking 20-30 times a day for long periods of time. It felt like a Deja Vu moment. Thats how his first affair started out. I did confront him about it and I glad for both of us he didn't deny he had feelings for her but refused to say if it went deeper, for obvious reasons.
At that time (about 2 weeks ago now) he demanded a divorce. But instead of talking about moving forward and what to do next, his discussions kept going to it was my fault and I didnt show enough love and we'd never be here if I treated him with affection. I can only roll my eyes at this, he threw the same lines at me when he abandoned us the first time. He's trying to justify in his mind what he's doing. And instead of moving on he refuses to leave the house, coming home every day from work complaining how miserable he is and he hates it here and how I disgust him. If he's so miserable why doesnt he leave? The anger got bad. It was to the point where I just had to ignore him. Anything I said would make him go off the deep end.
At one point he'd gone after A screaming at her about laundry.. SCREAMING! Of course I stepped in to sheild her from that. He lunged at me with fists raised saying he wanted to beat my head in.
This behavior was so not good for the girls to be witnessing and now I was scared for them and A was terrified of him. I'd had enough of his anger. I called his CO and filled him in and asked him to "direct" his sailor to find somewhere else to stay. I also told hubby if he got out of line again, there would be no "amicable divorce" like he's been begging me for. There would only be police and handcuffs involved on his part.
So now, today, he is finally leaving us in peace. 3 nights after being threatened to have my head beat in, a month after finding he's been "talking" to another woman, 9 years of anger, and 10 years of marriage later. I finally feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel for the girls when they go to visit him. He has no fathering skills, doesnt know how to take care of them and cant even remember his own daughter has allergies to dairy and soy! Add some anger in the mix when they start fighting and he cant handle it. I wish there was a way to sheild them from having to put up with his crap.
So thats my story and if you've reached the end with me, thanks for listening.
I am hoping by the end of summer, things will be back to as normal as possible and I can get back to business. Blogging and sewing. Both have suffered.
I wish everyone a happy weekend!

Mondays Randomness -What a NUT!

These pic come to me by way of Alaska. A very dear friend of mine has a daughter the exact same age as my B. I met them here in VA at a park playdate our mommies group was having. The girls were about 9 months old and we became fast friends.
Since, she has moved on to Alaska but we keep in touch often. We swap toddler stories, birthday pics and the wonderful occasion when our children learn something new...a first...like opening a jar!

"Taunia learned that Tessa could open up the jar of peanut butter...'all by myself'."



"As you can see, the jar and her hands are covered with peanut butter - you should have seen her desk. She had a perfectly smooth layer on it - and she was fingerpainting in it. AWESOME!"

Thank you, my dearest Taunia for allowing me to share this moment and Tessa for showing us your new achievement! I am so proud of you, keep up the good work!!

Love and miss you all!

Vandalism Times Two

Has my neighborhood become just another statistic?
One week ago today, my husbands car was broken into. You may remember it from my previous post.
Last night someone did it again. This time the doors had been locked and they broke the window. There was glass everywhere! Nothing was taken, not the cash he'd left in the console, not the CDO's briefcase on the floor. Nothing was touched!

The officer that came by said they'd had all car windows broken at the Farmers Market, directly behind our house.
Since the shooting at the Market a few months ago and now vandalism to cars there and to our car, which could be totally unrelated buy c'mon its a little to convenient dont you think, I feel very unsafe in my quiet little neighborhood anymore.
I am so upset.... How can someone find it fun to bash in car windows costing the owner hundreds of dollars? I don't understand how people think vandalism is funny, but yet they do it all the time.
I really hope karma kicks in here and whoever it was gets what they deserve times 100.

Vandalism- All They Found Was Some Change

We have a pretty slow neighborhood compared to most. Usually there is no crime in our little cul de sac. Ever.
We've left our garage door open overnight before and nothing has gone missing. Occasionally I'll run out of the house and forget to lock the front door and everything is in tact when I return. Not anymore.
My hubby's car was broken into last night.
Right. In. The. Driveway.
Good news, nothing is broken. The door was unlocked so they had easy entry.
More good news, they only took the change and a couple of dollars. He doesn't leave much in his car.
The bad news. By process of elimination, we think it was our next door neighbors teenagers based on what wasnt taken, wallet with credit cards.
We've caught them in our backyard at night before using the girls swing set. Obviously the talk with mom n dad did no good.

To Robber:



with Love,
Our Family

Talk about feeling... Violated.

What would you do?

Nomination for Mom Of The Year

CARMA, I am honored with this nomination! This lady is a riot and an absolute sweetheart! If you havnt already, you need to go check out her blog and participate in her "Cheeseball Tuesdays" and enter in her giveaway! THANK YOU DAAAHHH LINK!

I believe every mom out there deserves one of these awards. It can be very frustrating, yet entertaining and rewarding at the same time, being a mom.

Rules of the Award:

Admit one thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you've written it down, you are no longer allowed to feel bad. It's over with, it's in the past. Remember, you're a good mom!

• I feel awful about not being able to spend enough time with A (my 12 yo). With a 3 yo (B) and (not quite) 2 year old (E) clinging to "my apron strings" every waking moment, its been tough to get on the same schedule as her. The last year has been hard on our relationship. We keep pluggin along and hang out when time permits. I am anxiously awaiting school to be over with!

Remind yourself you are a good mom, list seven things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself everyday that you Rock!

1. I love dinner time in our house. Its a chance for all of use to gather and chat. Afterwards, we get out the crayons, a game or our laptops (yes B has a "laptop" too) and just hang out.
2. My girls are so spontaneous and come up with the most off the wall sayings. Yesterday B told me I had "stars in my eyes" How cute is that!
3. The most precious thing is when my little E wraps her arms around my neck and says "I love you mommy" It makes my heart melt every time!
4. They love it when I take them to Busch Gardens (theme park with roller coasters) all 3 of them have no fear and will ride everything if there wasnt a height/age limit.
5. "I like it when you give me hugs and kisses mommy. It makes me happy!" From the mouths of my babes. (ok E was just copying her sis like always lol)
   
6. I get to feel like a kid again when I take my girls to the park. Yeah I know, I'mma dork lol.
7. I love it when my 2 yo fingerpaints with peanut butter. She is so artistic! 1 pbj, 10 little fingers, 1 beautiful white wall. Need I say more? :)

Send this to five other Mom's Of The Year that deserve credit for being great moms and remind them that they are the best moms they can be!! Remember to send them a note to let them know you've selected them, and add a link to the person who nominated you.


I nominate the following mahh velous moms...

God Is Not Finished With Us Yet

I've Changed My Name To Mommy

We're Just Working On Today

5 Little Monkeys

Its A Beauty Filled Life

Our Memorial Weekend Happenings

We had a pretty busy holiday weekend. Friday the girls and I made a super spontaneous trip to Busch Gardens at 1:00 in the afternoon. The 5 hour, cranky kids with no nap trip was actually enjoyable and the girls experienced a lot of firsts.
Here are a couple of photos. The quality isnt that great, they were taken with my camera phone.












Sunday we decided to Grill N Chill at home. Here's what we grilled and mmmmm was it yummy!

The preparation....



In line for the grill....



Burnin the meat....



The End....

Well not really but I didnt take pics of the rest. We were to busy enjoying our meal. ;)

Yep, Seriously Done...

What a horrible way to end a great weekend.
We did a pretty thourough cleaning on the house, had a great BBQ with some frosty adult beverages (will post more on this later) and then after all that, just plain lazy with a capital L!
Now my poor E is sick with the stomach bug and fever. I wish there was a magic cure for the tummy ache. I hate seeing my little ones in misery and this might sound a little selfish but I cant stand being thrown up on! I shudder just thinking about it. Oh and would someone please explain to me just how do I give Tylenol to someone with the stomach bug to keep her 103 fever down?
She is finally sleeping and in the most odd place I might add. She refused to sleep in her crib upstairs, just had to be touching me or within eyesight. After 3 hours, the ol arm decided it had had enough of the 30lb kiddo sitting on it so I laid E on her sisters little fold out sofa in the playroom. She is fast asleep and snoring. THANK YOU GOD!
I am mentally and physically exhausted and just done. I was totally planning on posting about our Memorial weekend tonight but it will have to wait. This mamas checkin out! Yeah and this is how I feel (already) about tomorrow lol